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Archive for September 20th, 2009

Since I spent all day yesterday playing outside, I had to spend today catching up on all my chores. On that list was to tame the mess that I call a closet and get rid of all those clothes that don’t fit me anymore. As I stripped the old clothes off their hangers and tossed them to the floor with reckless abandon I realized, I don’t have any clothes! I took out all but 8 shirts, and 3 of those were my ridiculous, albeit it incredibly festive looking, Hawaiian shirts I wear on Fridays.

I knew the XXL shirts weren’t going to fit so I pulled those down first. I will keep them for the days I’m working on the cars. Or for those occasions when I might need to rig up some sails or a parachute. They could also be useful if I’m called upon to play the part of the zombie wearing extra baggy clothes. Even my beloved "Beaker" shirt had to be retired.

I was confident that some of the newer XL shirts would still fit me so I figured I was just thinning those out. Well, they do indeed fit. Like a burlap sack. I don’t stand a chance of wearing them anymore and Donna made no bones about showing me the error of my ways. I’ll have some really good looking scarecrows for Halloween this year. All the hip minions of the dark wear Corona brand!

With those gone I was starting at empty racks. I even found some almost brand new jeans that didn’t fit me anymore lurking behind all those clothes. I’ll give those to Donna.

Every long sleeve and short sleeve shirt I figured I could still wear is a goner. I’ve dropped from XXL down to M and the few shirts and jeans I did buy along the way are no good to me anymore – thank heaven I bought them all on sale! I literally had to make a dash to Target to get some of their cheap t-shirts just to have something to wear. It would have been damn comical if it hadn’t been so expensive.

Even those dress shirts I keep for emergencies, you know, the ones I only wore one time, during a job interview, last year, don’t fit anymore. I found exact duplicates in smaller sizes on my Target run, how cool is that?

If you know anyone who needs a mountain of XL shirts, just let me know, I know a guy!